Thursday, August 30, 2012

Good Morning, 50!


Yup, today is my 50th birthday.  Eh, the picture's not so good, but that's what you get when you try to take a self-portrait.
Here are Emma's thoughts on me turning 50.

Emma: Giffy, I get worn out counting to 50. It must be really hard to BE 50!

If she only knew....

Emma: Giffy, you're the BEST Giffy EVER!
Me: Thank you! What makes me the best Giffy ever?
Emma: Well, most grandmas are really, really, REALLY old. You're only a little old. 

LOL! She cracks me up! The only problem with cracking me up at this age is that, teensy, weensy accidents may occur. :)

I'm taking a short break from posting about our trip to celebrate turning 50! Yup, CEL A BRATE! So many people have asked me if I'm freaked about turning 50. That has me wondering exactly what it is that makes people freak as they enter decade #6 on their personal timelines. So I decided to make a "Pros and Cons of Turning 50" list to solve the mystery.

PROS

1. I've been with Rick longer than I was without him. Boy oh boy, do I love that man!

2. I've lived long enough to see my children become adults. That was my prayer for many years.

3. I've lived long enough to become a grandma. Emma has touched my heart in such a special way. I simply cannot imagine life without her.

4. As Emma's grandma, it's my duty to spoil her. True story. Look it up in a dictionary.

5. I get to have a colonoscopy. That may not sound like a good thing, but it could help me avoid an awful experience, so I'm okay with it. Besides, Jamie Lee Curtis looks sooooo happy and fabulous in those Activia commercials, as if she's lighter than air. So I figure getting cleaned out just might make me feel and look even better than she does. Ha ha!

6. I'm getting arthritis in my fingers. Again, this may not sound so good. Yet it reminds me that I have lived long enough to start aging, so yay for bony nobs on my fingers. Besides, they'll be great for scaring little kids on Halloween! (Just kidding!)

7. My stray chin hairs are turning gray, which means they're harder to see. Hopefully not just harder for me to see, but harder for others, too. If not, I can always join a circus. It's good to have options when you're older. 

8. I get to go to bed early. I've waited a long time to sleep as much as I'd like to sleep. Now I just need to stay awake until bedtime.

9. I rarely get pimples. I get old age spots, but not pimples. That's a good thing, because my nobby fingers wouldn't be able to squeeze the pimples anyway. Besides, I've always loved the look of polka dots.

10. I don't have to shave my legs as often a I once did. Either that or I can't see the hair as well. Yay either way.

11. Peri-menopause is in full swing. I cannot wait to bid adieu to good old Aunt Flo. She outstayed her welcome about 20 years ago.

12. I believe that one is never too old to learn new things. For this year, I have decided to learn to speak French. I took four years of Latin in high school which have done me absolutely no good at all except for being able to read a few really old things in Rome. Rick and I love Paris and plan to return to France next summer for our 30th anniversary. I am bound and determined to speak conversational French by then. I'd like to know what I'm ordering in restaurants, which train I'm supposed to take, and which restroom sign says Women. So Rosetta Stone, BRING IT ON!

13. I'm inching my way closer to senior citizen discounts. I plan to set aside those savings for a walker. Or a hearing aid. Or, more likely, new teeth.

14. I get a pass on being forgetful. No one expects me to remember anything anymore, so when I actually do remember something everyone congratulates me. It's fun to be a star every once in awhile.

15. I no longer feel like I stick out in the grocery store when I shop in the morning with the senior crowd. Sometimes they wear their pajamas. I'm okay with that. I love pajamas. Hmm. This one might scare Rick.

16. No matter how old I get, I will always be younger than Dave, ha ha!

17. I can snore without guilt. We all know that everyone over 50 snores. So there.

18. I'm finally okay with how many daily meds I take. Everyone over 50 is on a first name basis with their local Target pharmacist. They're also on a TMI basis (Too Much Information), but they're still friendly. 

19. I no longer feel guilty about my dry, calloused feet when I get a pedicure. All old feet are dry, calloused, and UG LY.

20. I no longer want to have another baby. God forbid!

21. I no longer want to relive my teens or 20s. Once was enough. More than enough.

22. I can finally appreciate the blessed gift of underwire in a bra. It's a like special superhero battling gravity, especially after a mammogram. Onward and upward, I say!

23. Bi-focals are a good deal. They're like getting two pairs of glasses but only having to keep track of one. 

24. My big purses are finally going to be more than just fashionable; now they're functional, too. I have plenty of room to carry a spare pair of Depends. 

25. I don't need to wear as much deodorant. Either that or I've lost my sense of smell. But since I can't smell myself, it's all good.

Seriously, I could go on and on and on. Bet you're glad that I won't! Now let's talk cons, shall we?


CONS

I seriously cannot think of a con to being 50.

God has blessed me with 50 years of life. Yes, there have been some hard times, but God has blessed me far beyond anything that I deserve. So I wear my battle scars with thanksgiving. If my time comes to an end today that's okay, for I know to whom I belong and where I am going. Thank you, Lord, for an amazing 50 years! And thank you for however many more you are going to give me.

See ya later~I'm off to have an ice-cream lunch with Emma!

3 comments:

Lori said...

Welcome to Club 50. It's quite an adventure. Love ya. Mwah!!!

Lori said...

Welcome to Club 50. It's quite and adventure and the entrance to some of the best years of your life. Love you! Mwah!

Christy Lynn said...

I giggled through your entire list. Age is just a number, my friend! I knew a girl once who would tell you how old she felt that day when asked her age, regardless of what her calendar age was--sometimes she was older, sometimes she was younger, sometimes they were the same age. I think there are people who are old at 30 and others who aren't old yet at 70. Happy birthday!!