Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Still Kickin'...

So I seem to be stuck in a relentless cycle of SOD attacks. I tend not to be very social when that happens. Hence my bloggy silence. 

I've been spending lots of time reading. I just finished The Help. What a fabulous book! I can't wait to see the movie. I'm one of those people who must read a book before I watch it's movie. I always prefer the books anyway. And Brittany convinced me to read The Hunger Games trilogy. Oh. My. Word. LOVED it! It was a tad gory (after all, it is a war story), but it was fabulous. It was written for young teens, which means there aren't any R-rated scenes or cuss words. That alone made it worth reading!

Oh, I also had a physical. I didn't walk into the doctor's office feeling old, but I sure felt that way by the time I left. Here's the general vibe of the Q&A session.

Q: Are these arthritic knobs on my fingers?
A: Yes, you're at the age when those start to appear.
(Lovely.)

Q: Are these white spots all over my skin something to worry about?
A. No, those are areas of reverse pigmentation, white freckles instead of brown ones. Totally normal for someone your age.
(Even lovelier.)

Then she started asking the questions.

Q: Have you scheduled your first colonoscopy yet? You'll be 50 this summer and will need to do that.
A: Not yet, but I will.
(Um, eeewwwwwwwwwww. I'd rather do anything else. I'd even use a gas station bathroom for a pass on a colonscopy.)

Q: Have you thought about having a calcium scan of your heart? You should do that at 50.
A: I don't even know what that is. But okay.
(Sigh.)

Q: Have you noticed any changes in your hearing and/or vision? 
A: Huh? I can't see or hear you. Ha ha. 

Q: Are you keeping up with your mammograms?
A: Yes, of course I am. 
(And I always go out for pancakes afterwards, ha ha).

Q: Have you noticed any changes with your bowel movements?
A: Only related to my meds. 
(But feel free to come over and see for yourself.)

Q: Are you going through menopause yet?
A: Perimenopause, yes. Cycles are all over the map.
(And I have chin hairs and a mustache. I never envisioned myself with a 5 o'clock shadow. Fun times are these. Yippee. Just call me Victor.)

Q: How are you doing with that?
A: Fine.
(What's not to love?)

Q: Do you ever feel depressed or anxious? That can happen with menopause.
A: No.
(But I am about to take you out, lady, and I'll blame it all on my perimenopausal/hormonal state of mind.")

Q: Do you ever experience mental fogginess?
A: No.
(But really, I can't remember.)

Q: Is there anything else you need to know as you begin this new phase of your life?
(I think she said life, not death. I think.)
A: Nope, I think you've covered it.
(It being all of the glorious things that loom on the horizon of my youth. Since when did 50 become the new 90?)

Q: One last thing: it's important to keep exercising as you age.
A: I walk on a treadmill.
(Despite my poor vision and hearing, I manage to get on the treadmill between bouts of irregular bowel movements. Unless, of course, my perimenopausal hormones make me psychotic. Then I use my knobby little fingers to pick at my white freckles. I have no actual memory of doing these things, but they are rumored to be true. I am sure that a good colonic cleanse will make everything better. Hrmph.)

As a nurse drew my blood and explained that it is normal to see cholesterol levels and blood pressure rise with age, I was hit by another hormonal wave of anxiety. I couldn't help but think,  "Ladies, I've watched every episode of Law & Order and CSI. I could totally bump you off and get away with it." Okay, so I didn't really think about murdering them. But I did wonder who those people are who claim that 50 is the new 30. I want to hang out with them.

My blood pressure was low as usual and all of my cholesterol tests were at the bottom end of the normal range. Guess I'll keep on kickin' for a while.

Anyway, I have a ton of catching up to do on my blog, which I will start on later today. (Mom, I promise not to start any more books.) In the meantime, I thought I'd post a few little things just to give my mama something to see. 

Two new boxes joined my collection at Christmas. Keaton brought this one from Madrid.
And Miss Christy sent me this one from England.
Purty, huh?

My friend, Paloma, owns a Mexican restaurant. She and her mother decorated it. The restaurant has several glass display cases filled with things from Mexico, including a collection of beautiful dolls. On her last visit, Paloma's mom brought this from Mexico for me. She even has a purple dress!
Finally, a photo of Emma to make my mama smile. This is a brand new dress which she chose herself. 
That's it for today. Check back tomorrow, mama. :)

2 comments:

Christy Lynn said...

I giggled about the mammogram/pancake comment, and Lee told me I was weird. I don't care. I hope you're feeling 110% soon! I've missed you.

One of my Word Verification words is "inkas". Which is leading me to amusing myself thinking about pre-Columbian Mexican peoples and rubber stamps.

arlene said...

Ok having been too addicted to words with friend I've been Mia in blog land but I did laugh out my coffee with this post.

Glad to hear all is well & hope we can get together soon.