Friday, January 20, 2012

The Little Old Lady and Her Hit Man

This is a direct quote from an e-mail sent to me by my mama: "THE SNOWFLAKES HAVE MELTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yes, there were actually thirteen exclamation points. I counted them. And when I spoke to her on the phone, she said the same thing with the thirteen exclamation points.I took this as code for a death threat, because I know she'll be hiring a hit man if I don't post something about Emma. Anything about Emma. I've watched enough episodes of Law & Order to know that hiring a hit man really isn't that difficult to do. So I figure that I'd better smooth things over with my mama before she goes to 7-Eleven and buys a disposable cell phone and dials another disposable cell phone's number and meets some sketchy guy in the Carl's Jr. parking lot and hands him a photo of me. And I've watched enough episodes of Murder, She Wrote to know that sweet, little old ladies always seem to be near dead bodies and that nobody ever suspects them as being the masterminds behind them all. I mean, come on, Jessica Fletcher ended up near 264 bodies over 12 years. That's a lot of murders. In fact, that's an average of 1.8 murders per month. And she got away with ALL of them while 264 innocent people went down for murder. So I think my sweet little mama could get away with one murder, don't ya think? No one would ever suspect her. So here you go, mama!

Over Christmas break, Emma  went on some special dates. Date #1: Papa took Emma to see the new Alvin and the Chipmunks movie. I think it's called Chipwrecked. Of course, he treated Emma to the little kids' snack box (popcorn, fruit snacks, and water). He also bought a box of bonbons to share with her because she had never had them. Let me just say that Rick and I have been together 32 years. We've been to a lot of movies. I remember him buying bonbons twice in all of those years, the last time being at least 10 years ago. Emma, of course, loved the bonbons. So now they have a special "thing" to do when they go to the movies. And as long as they keep making Chipmunk movies, Rick and Emma will keep going on dates to the movies because nobody else wants to suffer through the singing, dancing rodents except for Rick, LOL!

Date #2: Uncle Keaton and Tina took Emma to the Aquarium in Boston which she loves. Emma's favorite part was the sting ray petting tank. Emma adores Tina. In fact, Emma told me that I should order Uncle Keaton to marry Tina. I explained to her that Uncle Keaton is a grown man and  that I can't tell him what to do. She was not dissuaded. She insists that because I am his mommy, he MUST listen to me. When she is a teenager and doesn't want to listen to her own mommy, I am going to remind her that she said this. Anyway, I didn't go on this date, so I didn't have any photos of them. But Brittany took this photo as she and Emma hiked around a local lake with Keaton. 
Date #3: Uncle Brennan took Emma to Build-A-Bear and let her make whatever she wanted. Emma has only been there once or twice, and that was several years ago when she was still clueless about the whole thing. Not so this time! She chose to make a kitty whom she named Sparkle. Uncle Brennan even let her get not one, not two, but three fancy, sparkly dresses (hence the name). 
Date #4: My sweet friend, Arlene, sent Emma a book all about tea parties. So Emma donned the flamenco dress Tina brought from Spain and one of her Disney Princess tiaras (Snow White's, I think), and enjoyed a tea party with her mama.
And last, but certainly not least, here is funny story about Emma. There is a little boy (and by little, I mean about a foot shorter and a year younger than Emma) in Emma's press-chool class named Keegan. Emma is Keegan's first love. He draws pictures for her. He follows her around at school. His mom said that he talks about Emma non-stop. Of course, Rick and I think it's cute. Brittany? Not so much. Here's why:

Emma: Mommy, Keegan is my boyfriend.
Brittany: Oh no, no, no! No boyfriends!
Emma, scowling: That's not fair!
Brittany: the rule is that you can't have a boyfriend until you're 30.
Emma, after pausing to ponder this: Mommy, is that why you don't have a boyfriend?
Brittany: Um, yes.
Emma: Well, I think I want a boyfriend when I'm 20. 
Brittany: Ok, fine~you can have a boyfriend when you're 20.

I am so glad I'm already done raising mine, LOL!

Okay, mama, the snowflakes have fallen again. Stay away from 7-Eleven and Carl's Jr., ok? 

(Oh, by the way mama, Angela Lansbury is 87 years old and is still acting. We just saw her in a movie and she's still going strong!)

Wishing you a happy weekend! We are finally getting some snow!


Christy Lynn said...

Had a good giggle over the idea of your mom hiring a hit man at Carl's Jr. to take you out because you don't post enough pictures of Emma. Lee is convinced that the reason I watch so many murder mystery shows (NCIS, NCIS: LA, Castle, Bones, and that's just what's on now...) is because if I should ever feel the need to take HIM out, I will have the skills required to totally get away with it.

I have to say "Rock on!" to Emma for matching her tiara to her flamenco dress. She'll be breaking hearts in no time, no matter what Brittany says about no boyfriends until she's 30!

arlene said...

Sounds like one very busy little girl. How much fun she had with the boys home, so many things and too little time. But then again that's reality.

Not to much of a Law & Order addict are we? Love that show, but pretty much only the original. I also remember watching Murder She Wrote with my mom, miss that Angela Lansbury.

Glad to see Emma enjoyed the Princess Tea Book, and I expect nothing less than additional tea parties with Giffy too. Though I think 20 may be pushing it too.

So glad today with the "first snow" not having to go anywhere. Sent you an email. Talk to you soon.